


where you'd last expect

by thebitterbeast



Series: coldatomweek2k16 [1]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, ColdAtom Week 2016, M/M, Mentioned canon character deaths, but with a rather hopeful ending, coldatomweek2k16, relatively angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:51:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6655069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebitterbeast/pseuds/thebitterbeast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray had loved and lost his soulmate. Len's little sister was his.</p>
<p>So why then had the counters on their wrists restarted? What and who was deemed so important that fate itself had changed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	where you'd last expect

**Author's Note:**

> I did not expect to take part in [Coldatom Week](http://coldatomweek.tumblr.com/), yet here I am. This was supposed to be a short two page thing, at the most. It turned into almost twelve pages on Word. I don't even know. This is the first time I'm writing these characters, so they may be OOC, and I apologise for that.

The timer on his wrist hit 00:00:00:00 when he collided with Anna. Ray had never paid it much attention. Yes, he did occasionally daydream about meeting his soulmate, about someone who would be _his_ person. He just never thought he would meet them.

They were blissfully happy for a few years, years Ray would treasure forever, before Anna was cruelly taken from the world, and Ray was left with the broken pieces of love and life and dreams. He threw himself into his work, into putting together a fractured life that he could use to keep someone else from losing their family the way he had his.

And then the counter on his wrist restarted, after he walked away from Felicity, knowing it was futile to ignore the fact that her soulmate was right in front of her despite her insistence that their bond was purely platonic. Anybody with eyes could see that it was anything but.

**_01:03:21:09_**  

The counter continued to tick, even as he was trapped in a box, surrounded by insects larger than him. Dreams of not being alone any longer filled his days, and he hoped, cautiously but painfully.

He had hoped once, after all, and lost too much of himself that he dared not admit. 

* * *

Nobody who met Len would be surprised to find out that his counter had stopped the day of his sister’s birth. Lisa was his world, his to protect – he did not need anyone or anything else.

Mick was the only other person in the world to come close to being family. And that is the way Len liked it.

So of course, when his counter restarted after the particle accelerator exploded, he ignored it, covered it up with long sleeves and never mentioned it to anyone. Not even Lisa.

He had his people, he did not need anyone else.

Still, he was a little intrigued to know who would be deemed so important that his fate seemed to have changed on itself.

* * *

Ray only realized his counter had stopped again after he had decided to join Rip’s team, and he frowned to himself. He had met so many people in the course of the day, had ignored his counter in the excitement of it all – his soulmate could be any of his new team. 

It was a good thing, he decided. He had lost his person once, and chances were he could lose teammates during the course of their mission. It was better not knowing, better treating them all the same – better not letting anyone in, not really.

So he pasted a smile on his lips, let it grow more genuine over the course of weeks as he got to know his teammates, as they attempted to save the world.

* * *

The fact that his second soulmate was apparently a do-gooder should have surprised Len, but somehow, he was simply amused by it. It was not as if he was going to do anything about it – he had his partner, his own selfish reasons for coming along on this mission. No matter what Scarlet thought, he was _not_ a good man. 

He was not a hero.

It was easy enough to treat all his new teammates with the same level of disdain. They crawled under his skin, and his disdain grew fond, but he still kept them at arm’s length.

Len was fine the way things were. This was a fact.

Fate could go screw itself.

* * *

 

> **slightly out of the place**

* * *

Sometimes Ray wondered if letting himself try something with Kendra would be a good idea. He enjoyed spending time with her, enjoyed making her smile – she was sweet, and he recognized the lost look in her eyes every time her eyes went out of focus.

Losing a soulmate was always painful. Watching them die? Agonizing.

Ray knew this better than most. Anna had been just out of reach, her arm stretched to him. He had tried, tried so hard to inch himself closer to her, tried to block out her screams and the pain in his legs – god, he could not feel his legs – as he reached.

His fingers had just touched the tips of her fingers when her screams cut off suddenly, a weight crushing down on his chest until he felt like he could not breathe, and then – a snap, a gasp he almost choked on, and he _knew_.

Anna was gone.

* * *

Len did not mean to check everyone’s wrists, but it was almost habit for him. He would do it even before his counter restarted – just out of idle curiousity. He continued to do it now.

He was surprised to find that most of the counters were at zero. He was annoyed by his disappointment of the fact. He did not care which one of them was his soulmate.

He did _not_.

Besides, it was not as though he had any urge to go around kissing them to figure it out and complete the bond. It had been different with Lisa. Lisa was his to protect, and he had been barely six when he had brushed a kiss on the top of her head as he tried to calm down her cries. The sense of rightness, of **_belonging_** , that had settled over him had enveloped her too, and her cries had softened into hiccups.

No one else meant _anything_.

* * *

“You want us to _what_?” Snart raised an eyebrow, and Ray wondered how he made that look contemptuous and yet still disinterested.

Rip sighed, as though he was tired of having to repeat himself. Ray felt mildly offended on Snart’s behalf, though he knew better than to say anything. “You and Mr Palmer need to go undercover as a couple at this charity gala. The organization hosting it has ties to Savage. There will be a trail leading to Savage’s whereabouts on the mainframe that we must access.”

The thief pressed his lips together and leaned back. “We need me for obvious reasons,” he stated. “But why the Boy Scout?”

Ray did not offer a protest. His lips turned down briefly, but he was sure nobody noticed. Still, there was a curious ache settling in the pit of his stomach at the casual dismissive nature Snart was displaying of his abilities. He ignored it with a practiced ease and focused on Rip instead.

“Mr Palmer’s expertise is necessary to access the mainframe,” the Time Master answered, resting his hands on the table between the team. He looked around, meeting everyone’s eyes. “Any other questions, or can we get on with it?”

The team murmured their agreements, and Ray carefully avoided Kendra’s sympathetic and worried glance and pretended to not see the frown on Snart’s face.

Ray clenched his fists at his side. The pain where his nails pressed into his palm was not enough to alleviate the ache he did not understand. He continued to try and push it down as he walked towards his room.

* * *

Being sent undercover to break into a highly guarded office was probably the highlight of his day. Yet Len was not looking forward to it. Of all the people to be sent undercover with, he was stuck with _Raymond_.

This was going to be an unmitigated disaster.

The taller man cleaned up well, Len could admit that much. He cut an impressive figure in his suit, and with his easy smile, he would fit right in with all the other schmoozers at the gala. The two of them together made a handsome couple.

Still, Len could not let go of the notion that this was a bad idea. He shoved the thought away, focusing on the tension in his teammates shoulders. “Relax, Raymond,” he drawled. “I don’t bite. Much.” One corner of his mouth ticked upward.

Palmer did not flush, like Len expected. Instead, he started in surprise, having not noticed Len’s approach, before collecting himself remarkably quickly, and letting amusement colour his voice as he replied, “Shame. I do quite enjoy biting.”

Len let out a huff of amusement. Blue eyes swept over Palmer’s frame again, reassessing. Clearly he had missed something when figuring the younger man out the first time. It was time to change that.

* * *

> **in a world that’s gone insane**

* * *

The mission was a bust. Not through any fault of the team’s but simply due to the fact that all the mainframe held were official documents and information regarding the organisation’s latest projects. There was nothing on it that even hinted at Savage.

Ray was disappointed, but he continued to sift quickly through the many files on the mainframe.

“There’s nothing here,” he said, even as he clicked on another file and swiped through it. His eyebrows were furrowed as he focused, a headache he was ignoring building behind his eyes.

He had been through much worse.

Snart crossed the room from where he had been going through the safe. “Well then, we should get out of here.”

Ray hmm-ed in agreement, yet did not shift his attention from the screens in front of him. He heard Snart sigh in annoyance, and jerked in shock when the other man wrapped a hand firmly around his elbow. He blinked over his shoulder at him.

“What?”

Snart raised an eyebrow. “You just said you found nothing, Raymond.”

He frowned in response. “There are just a couple of files left,” he commented, already turning back to the screens. “Let me just -”

The hand on his elbow tightened, and Ray was pulled back. “You’re going to get us caught,” the shorter man did not quite snap, but it came close.

Before Ray could say anything, Snart had reached around him to shut the files he had been going through and close the mainframe down. Ray was sure he was pouting slightly, but he could not help it.

It made the older man roll his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but abruptly froze. Ray narrowed his eyes and started to say something, but Snart shot him a glare and squeezed his elbow painfully.

Ray winced, but kept his mouth shut.

* * *

There was movement outside, and Len tugged Palmer towards him, backing away from the table. Somehow, he was not surprised that Palmer complied silently. They moved instinctively towards a shadowed part of the room, the younger man following Len’s lead, allowing himself to be maneuvered so that his back hit the wall. Len encroached in his space, his head turned towards the door, his ears peeled.

He only realized his hand was still wrapped around Palmer’s elbow when the other man carefully breathed words into the space between them. “Are they still there?”

Len carefully unwrapped his fingers, feeling them sting from the force of his grip. He was a little impressed that Palmer knew how to keep his volume down, and responded with a sharp nod instead of words.

Palmer fell silent, his brown eyes flicking to the door, and the furrow between his eyes growing more pronounced.

Len squashed down the absurd urge to reach out and smooth the lines out.

The doorknob rattled, and Len could feel Palmer still. He began to turn towards the taller man, mind already racing through half-formed plans. Palmer moved as Len did, leaning forward, an intent look in his eyes. There were no words as the two exchanged glances, and the plan settled between them, unsaid.

By the time the light settled on the pair, they were entangled in one another. One of Len’s hands was gripping Palmer’s hair, the fingers of the other were hooked on Palmer’s belt loops. Palmer’s arms were wrapped around Len’s back. Their chests were pressed together, Palmer’s head bent down towards Len’s neck, his lips ghosting breaths on Len’s skin. Len’s own head was thrown back.

The scene was enough for the guard to stumble over an apology before gathering herself enough to hustle them out of the room. Palmer’s hand was warm on Len’s back, and he leaned into the taller man’s side.

Purely for show, of course.

They wandered back into the gala, and the guard’s eyes on them meant that they could not make their escape just yet. Instead, Palmer inclined his head towards the dance floor questioningly. Len raised his eyebrows, and Palmer rolled his eyes.

His voice was soft and wry when he spoke. “She’ll be more inclined to believe we’re madly in love if we continue to act it.” His lips lifted into a challenging smirk that Len did not know was possible. “Unless you don’t think you can keep up.”

Len knew this was not a smart idea, but this side of Palmer was intriguing. And he was never one to back down from a challenge. He said nothing, but strode onto an empty spot on the dance floor among other couples, confident that Palmer was following.

* * *

Ray could not say why he had asked Snart to dance. He used the guard as an excuse, but it was more than that. There was a strange urge to keep Snart close, to let his walls down and let the older man in.

It was difficult to ignore.

He allowed himself the one dance, little space between him and Snart as they wrapped their arms around each other and swayed to the music. The look in Snart’s eyes – something Ray could not define – had him swallowing drily.

Snart’s eyes followed the bob of his Adam’s apple.

The song came to an end, and they should have gotten off the dance floor. Instead, Ray found himself leaning forward, cheekily murmuring, “Thanks for the dance, dearest,” and brushing his lips against Len’s cheek – he pleaded temporary insanity – before stepping back.

That brief contact was enough for the warmth to spread through him, from his lips, to the tips of his fingers. His eyes widened, and his breath caught. His heart thumped in his chest, painfully, once, twice, before settling back into rhythm.

He knew what this was. He had felt this once before, felt the agony that ripped through him when he had lost the warmth, and his hands trembled at his sides with the urge to reach out and hold something before his legs gave way.

Ray had kept himself from seeking out his second soulmate for fear of feeling that hurt again. Now, as he saw Snart’s eyes grow cold, his jaw tighten as he turned and stalked away, he bitterly reminded himself that he was better off alone.

* * *

Len could not comprehend what had overtaken Palmer to _kiss_ him. He had been amused by the playfulness the other had shown him, a little attracted to the way the other had gone along with his ruse with little complaint, and a lot intrigued by the fact that Palmer had dared to challenge and tease him. Had he known? Had Palmer known that their counters had hit zero at the same time?

He wanted to think that Palmer had, if only because it made it easier for Len to be mad at the younger man. Except that he had seen the shock in the taller man’s eyes as he had recognized the feeling that had enveloped them both after Palmer’s lips had pressed lightly on Len’s cheek.

They were back on the Waverider, and Len was **not** hiding in his room. He was simply regrouping.

The fact that Palmer – the ultimate do-gooder on the team – was his second soulmate meant absolutely nothing.

Except the bond between them was already establishing, and he was barely fighting the urge to go find Palmer and _talk_ to him. He snarled to himself, pushing himself to his feet, scowl firmly in place as he stormed out of his room.

It was easy to track Palmer down once he let his instincts guide him.

“This changes absolutely nothing,” he shot out as soon as he entered the lab. Palmer was thankfully alone, a fact Len only checked on after he had already crowded the taller man against the desk.

Palmer did not even have the gall to argue, he simply nodded. His face was curiously blank, but he refused to meet Len’s eyes.

Len could not say why that bothered him, except that it did.

* * *

>   **pick up the pieces of my yesterday**

* * *

The fact that Snart had denied their bond was no surprise. If Ray was surprised about anything, it was that the older man was not avoiding him entirely. Instead, he had cornered him sooner than Ray had expected to tell him exactly what Ray expected to hear.

He wished he could say it did not hurt, but he refused to lie to himself.

Ray was proud of the fact that he managed to keep his emotions off of his face though. He thought that was it, but Snart did not move away. Ray could not back up, pressed as he was against the corner of the desk. He frowned, and stared at the space beside Snart’s head.

“Was there anything else?” he asked, somehow managing to sound pleasant enough.

He missed the way Snart’s eyes narrowed. “No,” he drawled, but he did not move away.

Ray tried to lean back, but could not. His hand curled around the edge of the desk, and it cut into his palm. He ignored the pain, his frown growing more pronounced.

Still, he refused to look at Snart’s face. He could keep emotions off his face, but not out of his eyes, and the loneliness that had enveloped him suddenly as Snart had walked away from him was surely prominent in them.

But Snart refused to back away.

Ray could feel his gaze on him, and he could not keep avoiding it. He steeled himself and met the other’s eyes. There was enough space between them for Ray to cross his arms across his chest and he infused attitude in his tone as he bit out, “If that’s all, I have work to be getting back to.”

It was a lie, but he needed Snart out of his space, out of his lab. He was finding it difficult to keep his wits about him when all he wanted was to give in to the bond. But Snart clearly did not want it, and Ray refused to force his way into someone else’s life.

He had almost done that before, and had hated himself for it when he had realized what he had been doing. He knew loneliness, he knew being alone. He had done it before, and he could do it again.

He ignored the fact that this was different, that this was his soulmate rejecting the bond he had inadvertently created between them. He was good at ignoring things.

* * *

There was something about this entire situation that Len could not quite put his finger on. The look in Raymond’s eyes when he had finally met Len’s gaze had nearly stolen his breath. The depths of the younger man’s loneliness was something the thief had not expected.

There was an old pain there that gripped Len’s heart in a vice and _squeezed_.

He had left Raymond alone, backing out of the room as his mind raced. He had followed the instincts the bond had caused to track Raymond down, and now he could not let go. He was slowly embracing it, especially after that _look_ in Raymond’s eyes.

Len’s fists clenched, and his lips pressed together. He had to know what had caused that look. He needed answers. And he knew where to get them.

The friendship between Kendra and Raymond had caused the team to lightly tease them. He knew Sara would often insinuate that there was something there, even if not even she believed it, not so soon after Kendra had lost Carter. But Len had seen Raymond bring a smile to the grieving woman’s lips more than nearly anyone else had. If anyone knew who Raymond had lost in his past, it would be Kendra.

He was not going to think about what he would do with the information.

“Hey.” Kendra’s confusion was evident, but she still smiled when she saw Len at her door. “What’s up?”

Len leaned against the doorframe. He could not bring himself to fake a smirk, or affect any sort of emotion, his mind still firmly fixed on the despair in Raymond’s eyes. “Has Raymond ever spoken about soulmates with you?”

Kendra tilted her head, nose scrunching. Her smile faltered slightly. “What?”

“The Boy Scout is the only member of the team I’ve never heard talk about soulmates,” he said slowly. It was something he had only just realized, now that he was thinking about it. “I was wondering just why that was.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “If anything, I thought he would be the one jumping up to find his.”

The young woman in front of him wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing one hand down her bare arm. The sadness in her eyes as they flicked to the side of Len was one she got when she thought about Carter. Len felt a momentary pang of sorrow at causing her this pain, but he pushed past it. He _needed_ his answers.

“He found his soulmate,” Kendra said softly. Len jolted in surprise. “And he lost her.” Her lips curled into a sad smile. “He knew what it felt like, when I lost Carter. That’s why he doesn’t talk about it.”

There was an unwanted ache in Len’s heart as understanding dawned on him.

* * *

The last thing Ray expected when he finally made his way back to his room from the lab was Leonard. But then again, this had been a long day of unexpected things.

The older man’s eyes tracked Ray’s movement as he mechanically put the few tools he had still been carrying away. Ray tried to ignore the weight of the other’s gaze, but it was difficult.

“What was her name?”

It was not the question Ray had expected, and he was startled into gaping at Leonard. “What?” he asked inelegantly.

“Your first soulmate,” Leonard was surprisingly gentle. “What was her name?”

The pain that welled up was a familiar friend. “Anna,” he replied softly. “Her name was Anna.” He ducked his head before offering, unprompted, “She was killed in the Starling City uprisings.”

He saw Leonard nod out of the corner of his eyes. “My sister is mine.” Ray did not expect him to reciprocate. “She’s back in Central. Or she should be, anyway.” There was a fond twist to his lips. “You can imagine my surprise when my counter restarted.”

“Yeah,” Ray breathed out, turning back to his table. He opened a drawer absently, needing to do something with his hands, needing to keep busy. “I’m not expecting anything here.”

Leonard huffed somewhere behind him, but Ray did not look back. “I can see that,” and Ray could not understand the tightness of the other man’s voice. This was what he wanted, right?

* * *

The lines of the younger man’s back were tight and tense. His voice was carefully blank, and the fragile bond that should have been blooming between them was curiously silent. Len closed his eyes and considered his options.

He could walk away from this. Raymond was giving him an out, and this had been what Len had wanted. Except something had been pulling him towards Raymond from the beginning of their acquaintance, and now that he knew that he was not the only one whose fate had decided to rewrite itself, he could not let it go.

Len could still feel his bond with Lisa humming, even with the time and distance between them. He could not bring himself to consider it snapping. Raymond had _lived_ that, and yet somehow, had continued with a smile on his face. A smile Len had often thought to be a little brittle, though he had never pursued it.

He understood why now, and he could not bring himself to walk away.

It was as though a weight had lifted off his shoulders as he pushed himself to his feet. The decision was an easy one, in the end. He walked up behind Raymond and put his hand on his shoulder. “What if that is not what I want? What if I changed my mind?”

Raymond turned around slowly, a skeptical look on his face. “In just a few hours?”

Len shrugged, but did not brush it off with affected casualness. This was something to be approached seriously. “It’s not going to be simple,” he said. “But – you know that already.”

The younger man was still holding himself away from him, a fact that did not surprise Len. What did surprise him was the hurt it caused. That subsided as he caught Raymond’s eyes. While his face held his skepticism and disbelief, his brown eyes were cautiously hopeful.

“We’re both intelligent men,” Len drawled, raising an eyebrow in the hopes of drawing a smile out of Raymond. “We should be able to figure this out.”

It garnered a scoff out of the other man, which was not quite the reaction Len had hoped for. But when Raymond rolled his eyes and looked away, Len caught a hint of a smile playing on his lips, and his own mouth quirked in response.

The tension was creeping out of Raymond’s frame, and Len took a step closer. “So, what do you say, Raymond?”

Raymond let a shaky breath out, and Len did not fight the urge to reach out and curl his hand around the back of the younger man’s neck. “You’re sure about this?” The words were barely a breath, and Len leaned forward, tugging Raymond down.

The show of trust in Raymond following willingly caused a little lump in Len’s throat that he had to fight to speak around. “I’m sure about this.”

Their foreheads pressed against each other, Len’s hand a comforting weight on the back of Raymond’s neck, one of Raymond’s hands on Len’s waist. Len’s eyes were open, but Raymond had closed his, and this was the first time he had seen the other man so unguarded. For all his smiles and his quips, Raymond was not one for vulnerability.

Len pressed into the other’s warmth. It was a show of trust he would reciprocate. He let his eyes close as well, and the silence enveloped them.

The bond between them hummed, spread through and around them, and Len exhaled softly.

This felt like home.

**Author's Note:**

> I - have a few headcanons for this verse, regarding how the soulmate bonds work, and even who the various team members' soulmates are. If you're interested, or even if you just want to talk, hit me up on [tumblr](http://ankahikoibaat.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
